3:30

**DISCLAIMER: Today's entry is a little dark and could be a trigger for some. It was an exercise akin to bleed-letting. But unlike most people who've undergone blood-letting, I'm much healthier for it. Really, I'm doing well.**

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3:30

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I wake with a gasp, a shock

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Oh God

it’s happening again

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My mind is ablaze

A wildfire I can’t control

There’s no hope when it gets like this

It feels like burning alive

It makes you want to do anything to stop the spread

Anything

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It gets desperate

Nothing stops it

Nothing but time

You have to let it run its course

Without knowing when it will end

And when you can’t control the wildfire

You have no choice

You have to take matters into your own hands

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If only your hands were steady

If only you could stop trembling

There is just not enough water

to douse the growing flames

The fire is just too big

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And so you wait

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I fear you misunderstand me.

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It’s not a “bus stop” wait

Not a “When will he be home?” wait

It’s a “holding your breath underwater” wait

A “just one more push honey” wait

A wait encumbered with weight

A weight unbalanced and constantly moving

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This reminds me:

     They do this terrible experiment

  to deprive mice of sleep.

       You see, the mouse is in a small tank of water

    and there’s a only a tiny platform for it to rest

 without having to keep swimming.

     Except to scientists don’t want the mouse to rest

       as that would ruin the experiment

 So they rigged it

      so when the mouse finally manages 

        To find the little platform

  To get a brief moment

       For its little paws to touch something solid

   The scientists move the platform from under it

So it has to start swimming again

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     and without sleep

        it goes insane

          and dies

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I don’t think there’s much else to say

THAT is what it is like

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Burning up

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Waiting

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Treading water

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until

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Today's Haiku
Weeping in the dark
Tears cascade down well-worn tracks
Magma to lava

Today's Workout
Running: 2.7 miles
DAREBEE: Day 37 of The Hero's Journey

Today's Drawing
(Based on the word Ostensible from Merriam-Webster's Word of the Day)

While we're on body horror sketches...
BONUS DRAWING! (7/24/17)