Monster Monday
Angst Mites
Angst mites are virtually microscopic pathovores that congregate and flourish on the scalp of human adolescents. Most varieties are strictly parasitic, feasting off the rampant negative energies and sexual frustrations of teenagers and then depositing their eggs on adolescents' faces, backs and sometimes, buttocks while they sleep. There are a few cases of the species establishing a more symbiotic relationship with their hosts, providing them with a false sense of entitlement and a predilection for horrible music and poetry in the form of an oily excrement that is then deposited on the face and genitals, (though some scholars would argue that this is actually more evidence of parasitic behavior, the hosts perceive it to be beneficial and have created entire cultures around their effects.)
Discovered in the early 1950s, angst mites were thought to be the result of poor hygiene on the part of teenagers of the era. This is a common misconception. In fact, much like gut fauna, angst mites are passed down from mother to infant in the womb. They lay dormant on the child until all the joy and enthusiasm of childhood have run out, and the grim realities of life on this miserable planet set in. Some children are fortunate enough to never run out of their childhood joy, and they pass into adulthood without ever providing enough energy to allow their angst mites to flourish. But their numbers are few, and frankly, nobody likes them or their stupid upbeat faces.
Once active, the angst mites feed incessantly and breed quickly. Their egg deposits, more commonly refereed to as zits or pimples, lodge into the pores and wait patiently. To be released, the eggs must be "popped," and thankfully for them, the adolescents lack self-control and are notoriously vain. Most of the fresh young perish in the experience, so the mites must compensate through sheer number of offspring. One human adolescent can house millions of angst mites during the gestation period. The young that do survive, began to feed immediately, and will be capable of copulating and laying eggs themselves within 12 hours.
Unfortunately, there is no sure-fire "cure" for angst mites, and some people have to live with them their entire lives. But about 90% of the population recovers and comes to a manageable and symptom-free existence with the mites. Heavy doses of requited love, reasonable expectation and "getting over yourself" have proven useful in such cases.
Today's Drawing (inspired by the word "Obloquy" from MW's word of the day. It's a term for abusive, condemnatory language)
Today's "365" Project (Make something impossible. I made a blivet or devil's fork.)
"Then Blivet. That works."
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Angst Mites
Angst mites are virtually microscopic pathovores that congregate and flourish on the scalp of human adolescents. Most varieties are strictly parasitic, feasting off the rampant negative energies and sexual frustrations of teenagers and then depositing their eggs on adolescents' faces, backs and sometimes, buttocks while they sleep. There are a few cases of the species establishing a more symbiotic relationship with their hosts, providing them with a false sense of entitlement and a predilection for horrible music and poetry in the form of an oily excrement that is then deposited on the face and genitals, (though some scholars would argue that this is actually more evidence of parasitic behavior, the hosts perceive it to be beneficial and have created entire cultures around their effects.)
Discovered in the early 1950s, angst mites were thought to be the result of poor hygiene on the part of teenagers of the era. This is a common misconception. In fact, much like gut fauna, angst mites are passed down from mother to infant in the womb. They lay dormant on the child until all the joy and enthusiasm of childhood have run out, and the grim realities of life on this miserable planet set in. Some children are fortunate enough to never run out of their childhood joy, and they pass into adulthood without ever providing enough energy to allow their angst mites to flourish. But their numbers are few, and frankly, nobody likes them or their stupid upbeat faces.
Once active, the angst mites feed incessantly and breed quickly. Their egg deposits, more commonly refereed to as zits or pimples, lodge into the pores and wait patiently. To be released, the eggs must be "popped," and thankfully for them, the adolescents lack self-control and are notoriously vain. Most of the fresh young perish in the experience, so the mites must compensate through sheer number of offspring. One human adolescent can house millions of angst mites during the gestation period. The young that do survive, began to feed immediately, and will be capable of copulating and laying eggs themselves within 12 hours.
Unfortunately, there is no sure-fire "cure" for angst mites, and some people have to live with them their entire lives. But about 90% of the population recovers and comes to a manageable and symptom-free existence with the mites. Heavy doses of requited love, reasonable expectation and "getting over yourself" have proven useful in such cases.
Haiku of the Day:
My utterances
waft about electronically
a cognizant buzz
Today's "365" Project (Make something impossible. I made a blivet or devil's fork.)
"Then Blivet. That works."
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