Week 38
Stats:
Running Mileage: 636.76/1,000
Push-ups: 6,940/10,000
Sit-ups: 6,940/10,000
Pages Read: 6,808/10,000
Books Completed: 21/25
Words Written: 64,033/100,000
Fasts (Days without)
Internet: 75/100
TV: COMPLETE 103/100
Gaming: COMPLETE 197/100
Meat: 70/100
Junk: 72/100
Booze: 66/100
So here's the deal: I'm changing my running goal. With my current knee injury I'm not going to be able to finish it in the time allotted, so instead I'll just be keeping a "running" tally of mileage until I get to 1000 and we'll see where it lands me. My hope is to make it there by 400 days in, or at the very latest September. I mourn the passing of this goal, as it is the second year I've tried it, but I think it is for the best that I not kill myself attempting to get it now.
I have spoken on this before but it bears repeating: The fasts are not the best method for curbing my poor behaviors. There's an issue of "threshold" that I continue to run into in my day-to-day, where once I engage in a behavior that I meant to be fasting, I binge it relentlessly. This has worsened in the case of television, internet time, and junk food, (but especially internet...those bastards have me by the easily-distracted balls.)
The fast system proved the most effective with my habits with video games, eating meat and drinking. I think I'll continue to keep track of the meat and booze, stop with the video games because it's a habit I've deftly broken, and employ some new methods in regards to television, junk food and the dreaded net. Allow me to muse on the subjects now:
JUNK FOOD: First off, this one has been nebulous since the beginning and the loose definition is part of the problem. Processed goods and restaurant items are mostly what I've set the basis on, so it goes back to a "point of origin" criteria. For instance, cinnamon buns are considered junk food by most people, but if I made the cinnamon buns FROM SCRATCH, than they would not qualify under the definitions. It's nearly always been about (a) cutting out the sweets, primarily the gummi sugar bombs I gorge myself on (b) cutting out the chips and highly processed meats and snacks and (c) curbing consumption of fast food/restaurant items. The ideal is not the cleave them out entirely, but to encourage an environment of moderation. My first inkling is to create a mini economy for myself, where I get credits for cooking in at home that I can then spend on sugary snacks, chips or restaurant items. This method would involve some heavy enforcement by Emily which is one reason if might be difficult to execute. I'm tempted to go so far as to get a literal lock-box that only she has the key to, so I have to go through the process of asking and then removing the junk item before eating it. This doesn't cover the restaurant bit, but could do wonders for the binge issue I have with the horrible snacky foods. Perhaps there's something to this mini-economy thing...I tried it in the past while we were in Baltimore and it only ever sorta worked. Now that I have a bit more disposable income I may try to construct a vessel to hold unique beads or stones that could work as currency...maybe count up all the spent ones at the end of the month and deposit the $1 equivalent into savings? Would have to put more serious thought into how the whole economy would function as a whole.
TV/INTERNET: These both go together because they involve screens and not doing shit for extended periods of time. They also both are heavily re-enforced by social pressures in my immediate vicinity, (yes Emily is a big factor here.)
I listened to a Freakonomics Radio yesterday that talked about resolutions, specially about something that was referred to as "Temptation Bundling" which puts tasks you enjoy with tasks that you should do but are unpleasant. I'm planning on trying to employ something with Emily with TV where we have to do some minor exercise before watching an episode of a favorite show. Or perhaps share a specific story about our day? I'm not sure...there's got to be a way to break up the binge mentality that takes over and cuts into quality time and sleep.
The internet is a subtler monster, but horrible nonetheless. Often I find myself drifting on the web when I'm faced with the task of writing/drawing/projecting and feel the need to clear my mind a bit. I think the two-tiered approach for this is to 1) aggressively research addition to my chrome that limit certain "gateway" sites and 2) find more appropriate "quieting" activities to salve the ADHD novelty cravings that keep me on sites for hours on end.
WRITING: An average of 275 words a day is pretty steep for me, with additional creative powers getting funneled into drawing and doing the "projects" which I unfortunately have grown to resent. Noah Scalin put together a pretty good book of inspirations, but I'm so done with all the crafty bullshit he keeps pushing. Not to mention some of the tasks could only be done by spending an hour or more on and I JUST DON'T HAVE THE TIME! And the writing is something I'd like to keep polishing and making it easier to do. I'm not an organized writer and most of my ideas are taxingly incoherent, but this hasn't been about clarity. It's about demystifying and breaking down the "perfection" and piecing together some little nuggets I can actually do something with. It's about showing up and trying, god damnit. I'm sick of only striking when the creative fire is hot, waiting for my mind to get the lightning strike.
Perhaps the key is creating a space in our home that is devoted only to writing and/or project related activities. Could be worth a shot.
Stream, Brook, Deluge:
I've been riding in a massive tidal wave, sick and tumbling,
traumatized by the whims of celestial forces
in a relentless eddy of murky, choking, fluid.
And then in a single breath,
a fleeting bubble of calm
I right my body
and see the sky and the sea
in their whole and infinite state
and see myself as the fleck,
the morsel on the terrible jaw
of a gargantuan beast.
But instead of shuddering
or plunging into bleak despair
my heart settles
and for the first moment
since the storm begin
I feel sure and level.
And then like dusk,
the storm falls
its massive writhing bulk
plucking my frame
from the clear
to steel oblivion.
Today's Drawing (inspired by the word "Controvertible" from MW's word of the day. It means capable of being disputed or opposed by reason.)
Today's "365" Project (Make something with cardboard. I made a dice tower and it's super great. NERD!)
"Duct Dice Tower"
Stats:
Running Mileage: 636.76/1,000
Push-ups: 6,940/10,000
Sit-ups: 6,940/10,000
Pages Read: 6,808/10,000
Books Completed: 21/25
Words Written: 64,033/100,000
Fasts (Days without)
Internet: 75/100
TV: COMPLETE 103/100
Gaming: COMPLETE 197/100
Meat: 70/100
Junk: 72/100
Booze: 66/100
So here's the deal: I'm changing my running goal. With my current knee injury I'm not going to be able to finish it in the time allotted, so instead I'll just be keeping a "running" tally of mileage until I get to 1000 and we'll see where it lands me. My hope is to make it there by 400 days in, or at the very latest September. I mourn the passing of this goal, as it is the second year I've tried it, but I think it is for the best that I not kill myself attempting to get it now.
I have spoken on this before but it bears repeating: The fasts are not the best method for curbing my poor behaviors. There's an issue of "threshold" that I continue to run into in my day-to-day, where once I engage in a behavior that I meant to be fasting, I binge it relentlessly. This has worsened in the case of television, internet time, and junk food, (but especially internet...those bastards have me by the easily-distracted balls.)
The fast system proved the most effective with my habits with video games, eating meat and drinking. I think I'll continue to keep track of the meat and booze, stop with the video games because it's a habit I've deftly broken, and employ some new methods in regards to television, junk food and the dreaded net. Allow me to muse on the subjects now:
JUNK FOOD: First off, this one has been nebulous since the beginning and the loose definition is part of the problem. Processed goods and restaurant items are mostly what I've set the basis on, so it goes back to a "point of origin" criteria. For instance, cinnamon buns are considered junk food by most people, but if I made the cinnamon buns FROM SCRATCH, than they would not qualify under the definitions. It's nearly always been about (a) cutting out the sweets, primarily the gummi sugar bombs I gorge myself on (b) cutting out the chips and highly processed meats and snacks and (c) curbing consumption of fast food/restaurant items. The ideal is not the cleave them out entirely, but to encourage an environment of moderation. My first inkling is to create a mini economy for myself, where I get credits for cooking in at home that I can then spend on sugary snacks, chips or restaurant items. This method would involve some heavy enforcement by Emily which is one reason if might be difficult to execute. I'm tempted to go so far as to get a literal lock-box that only she has the key to, so I have to go through the process of asking and then removing the junk item before eating it. This doesn't cover the restaurant bit, but could do wonders for the binge issue I have with the horrible snacky foods. Perhaps there's something to this mini-economy thing...I tried it in the past while we were in Baltimore and it only ever sorta worked. Now that I have a bit more disposable income I may try to construct a vessel to hold unique beads or stones that could work as currency...maybe count up all the spent ones at the end of the month and deposit the $1 equivalent into savings? Would have to put more serious thought into how the whole economy would function as a whole.
TV/INTERNET: These both go together because they involve screens and not doing shit for extended periods of time. They also both are heavily re-enforced by social pressures in my immediate vicinity, (yes Emily is a big factor here.)
I listened to a Freakonomics Radio yesterday that talked about resolutions, specially about something that was referred to as "Temptation Bundling" which puts tasks you enjoy with tasks that you should do but are unpleasant. I'm planning on trying to employ something with Emily with TV where we have to do some minor exercise before watching an episode of a favorite show. Or perhaps share a specific story about our day? I'm not sure...there's got to be a way to break up the binge mentality that takes over and cuts into quality time and sleep.
The internet is a subtler monster, but horrible nonetheless. Often I find myself drifting on the web when I'm faced with the task of writing/drawing/projecting and feel the need to clear my mind a bit. I think the two-tiered approach for this is to 1) aggressively research addition to my chrome that limit certain "gateway" sites and 2) find more appropriate "quieting" activities to salve the ADHD novelty cravings that keep me on sites for hours on end.
WRITING: An average of 275 words a day is pretty steep for me, with additional creative powers getting funneled into drawing and doing the "projects" which I unfortunately have grown to resent. Noah Scalin put together a pretty good book of inspirations, but I'm so done with all the crafty bullshit he keeps pushing. Not to mention some of the tasks could only be done by spending an hour or more on and I JUST DON'T HAVE THE TIME! And the writing is something I'd like to keep polishing and making it easier to do. I'm not an organized writer and most of my ideas are taxingly incoherent, but this hasn't been about clarity. It's about demystifying and breaking down the "perfection" and piecing together some little nuggets I can actually do something with. It's about showing up and trying, god damnit. I'm sick of only striking when the creative fire is hot, waiting for my mind to get the lightning strike.
Perhaps the key is creating a space in our home that is devoted only to writing and/or project related activities. Could be worth a shot.
Stream, Brook, Deluge:
I've been riding in a massive tidal wave, sick and tumbling,
traumatized by the whims of celestial forces
in a relentless eddy of murky, choking, fluid.
And then in a single breath,
a fleeting bubble of calm
I right my body
and see the sky and the sea
in their whole and infinite state
and see myself as the fleck,
the morsel on the terrible jaw
of a gargantuan beast.
But instead of shuddering
or plunging into bleak despair
my heart settles
and for the first moment
since the storm begin
I feel sure and level.
And then like dusk,
the storm falls
its massive writhing bulk
plucking my frame
from the clear
to steel oblivion.
Haiku of the Day:
Swapping wedding songs
over wine, beer and veggies
roasted over oil
over wine, beer and veggies
roasted over oil
Today's Drawing (inspired by the word "Controvertible" from MW's word of the day. It means capable of being disputed or opposed by reason.)
Today's "365" Project (Make something with cardboard. I made a dice tower and it's super great. NERD!)
"Duct Dice Tower"
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