T Talk (Mundane in the Membrane)

Top Ten Tuesday (Bringing it back!)

Top Ten Tips for Traversing the T (Mostly Green Line specific)

1. Inbound vs. Outbound: It's all about Park St. - This was explained to me by my Boston savvy upstairs neighbor and I've found it's pretty accurate. It's the first thing you look for and if you can at least suss out where your vicinity is to the Park Street Stop (The "center" of Boston,) you'll avoid 80% of typical misboarding errors.
2. Standing - Against a window or wall is best though the handicapped spot can easily be snagged by strollers and the occasional person the space was intended for. If you can deal with the floor moving the hinge isn't bad, though I have anxiety about getting pinched in the accordion walls. My personal favorite on the Green Line is on the steps of the doorway that isn't getting the frequent stops. Just be weary when wonky stops like Kenmore come around. 
3.  Stance - Low center of gravity. Feet splayed and not on a linear plane. Be aware of starts and stops and you can last through the crappiest of T conductors.
4. Sitting - Always look before you sit. Keep an eye out for the elderly and the pregnant. Sometimes even children will guilt you out of your seat. This is why if I know a train will get busy. I always choose to stand.
5. Fare Fairly - This one's a no brainer, but if you have to pay with cash or any non tapping method, go to the back of the boarding line. The conductor and your fellow transiters appreciate it. 
6. Closeness protocol - Personal bubbles disappear come rush time. Just be sure to avoid armpits and breathing/being breathed on by someone and you'll get through this together.  Smile and laugh if things get difficult.
7. Make you space (within reason) - Two sides to this puppy: You take up too much space and you're a dick, but if you let people push you around, you'll end up in a compromising spot, which is where I run into trouble. You can use this to your own advantage with most people if you just ever-so-slightly shift their way, they'll end up giving you more room.
8. Smells - They are many and they are horrible. My best strategy has been to cover with my own musk or get toward a door for some occasional fresh air, but I think this one is inevitable.
9. Ground your Backpacks! - In peak hours, this is infuriating. Backpacks make you bigger in a way you're not aware and also in the place where the bulk of most bodies are. Either take it off and let it live between your legs or carry a satchel bag.
10. One Hand - One Ear - This is rule more for me than anything...always making sure to have a free hand and only one earbud in so I can stay alert to what's happening. Some folks get so caught up.

Haiku of the Day:

Uniform gray sky
looms, while flecks of rain kiss cheeks
on a fall morning.

Today's Drawing (inspired by the word "Wheedle" from MW's word of the day. It means to coax or persuade someone.)

Today's "365" Project (Do something with time. I designed an alarm clock and an elephant for my show, "First, Second!")
"Ninth of all!"

Cruffels and Mayflys

Monster Monday (Maybe?)

Pink-Bellied Cruffel

The Pink-Bellied Cruffel is an amphibious rodent, the size and shape of a pear with four legs. It has a slick fur coat that is lined with a parasitic yellow moss known as Fretch's Fuzz, that feasts off the creature's notoriously deplorable dandruff. It travels in packs of 8 to 10 known as "squalbs." The beast was native to Papua New Guinea until droves of American tourists in the late 1970's came and carted the wretched creatures to the States, thinking they would be adorable pets. Unfortunately, the Cruffel turned out to be far more cantankerous than most Americans could handle, so they were hastily discarded out car windows and flushed down toilets. Fortunately for the Cruffels, they thrived in the fetid conditions of sewege traps and highway shoulders.

Despite their penchant for pack travel, one rarely sees a Pink-Bellied Cruffel in nature. They're nocturnal creatures and sleep nearly 21 hours in the day. They only become active during the hours of 2-5 am and it's then they consume their two favorite staples: human garbage and acorns. The most telling evidence of the presence of a squalb of Cruffels is their tell-tale droppings, scattered across city sidewalks in black smears, often assumed by the laymen as the remnants of discarded gum.

It's a common misconception that Pink-Bellied Cruffels actually have pink bellies. This is due to the saliva it secretes, mixed with a blood based expectorate, that lubricates it's lower stomach to allow quicker travel on land and to and from water. This creates a semi-permanent staining to both the scalp and fur.

When mating, which occurs once a year in late spring, the male Cruffels will borrow into the base of a tree (or in some cases lamppost) and there it will wait for rain. When the rains come, the male Cruffel will then swallow as much water as possible until it has expanded to four times it's normal size. Then it will begin to thrum a small flap at the back of its throat that sends thousands of tiny micro vibrations underground. These vibrations alert any nearby females and, as a side effect, force any earthworms nearby to come to the surface. Once a female finds the male in his enlarged state, she'll crawl into his waterlogged mouth and deposit her eggs (typically 15 to 20.) She then proceeds to bite off a chuck of the males brain stem from inside, releasing his genetic payload and killing him in the process. She then exits the male through the mouth and goes on her merry way, often to deposit eggs in at least half of the males of her squalb.

The now fertilized eggs then gestate for a few months, then on a hot summer's night they emerge blind and already carrying the Fetch's Fuzz passed down from the father. It should be noted that most of the babies will be male, with one or sometimes two dominant females leading each young squalb. About three months later, in the fall, the squalb will then split off, the female(s) leaving to pursue other males squalbs and the males to find new, genetically diverse female leaders.

This is all there is known right now of these horrible and wondrous creatures. One can only imagine what other beasts roam the earth...

Haiku of the Day:

I stand, plumb and glazed,
at the foot of a great dock

and gasp the lake mist.

Today's Drawing (inspired by the word "Rapier" from MW's word of the day. It's a straight narrow sword, but also can mean extremely smart or keen.)

Today's "365" Project (Do something inspired by the word insect. Did some old school stress clip bending.)

"Mayfly"

Mirror rorriM

Sunday Sonnet - A cautionary tale for children

While underneath a dentist's glaring lamp,
face cradled in a gaseous plastic hood,
Mel's doctor's hand seized in a heinous cramp,
and in Mel's mouth the doctor did no good.
The blood filled up in Mel's poor frozen throat,
and Ol' Doc Frank grabbed for his suction straw,
but in his reach he snagged his pristine coat,
and fell face first into Mel's gaping maw.
Inside Mel's gullet Frank began to drown,
in spit, regret and teeth and bloody gums,
He thought, "My God, is this how it goes down?"
and found his end in Mel's last chokes and hums.
So kids, please brush and floss your teeth each day,
Or Mel and Doc, as ghosts, will make you pay.

Haiku of the Day:

Masked by sunglasses
The hordes suck through long green straws
dredges of sweet fuel

Today's Drawing (inspired by the word "Helpmate" for Dictionary.com's word of the day. It's a companion or spouse. I loosely used it for my 365 Project.)

Today's "365" Project (Do something entirely while watching yourself in a mirror. The same results will probably occur as they did in the left handed one from a couple months ago.)

Grit and Grime

Someone Saturday (Limerick edition)

There once was a woman in Brussels
Who would oft eat her whole weight in mussels,
With tattoos on her face
and a penchant of for mace,
She'd engage the town bear in play tussles.

Haiku of the Day:

Vomit on the floor
of the evening train, driver
claims the mess is soup

Today's Drawing (inspired by the word "faineant" from ME's word of the day. It means "idle or ineffectual" and of course, it's French.)

Today's "365" Project (Write an inviting for something you don't typically invite people. This one is gross. But I love it and have no shame.)

You are cordially invited to Michael Chodos'

20,000th Bowel Movement!

Set to occur this Thursday after a morning coffee around 10am.

BYOTP if you wish to join in the festivities. 

No rainchecks in case things are irregular earlier in the week.

Be sure to RSVP ASAP because there are only 4 stalls in my work bathroom.

No flash photography allowed.

See you then, I sh*t you not!

Twilights

Oh wow. Yesterday marked me being a fourth of the way through the challenge (3 months baby!)

I'm going to leave the major reflecting for next Thursday, (100th day PARTY!)

I'm thoroughly intoxicated coming back from my first show. It didn't go poorly, but you couldn't really say it went well. We did our best but some moments just didn't stick. That's the beauty of the process. We'll get there soon. I'm such a huge fan of the the people I'm working with though. They seem to have a great sense of purpose and passion that I haven't seen in a while. It could be that booze talking, but as that carries with it a bit of truth, I'm certain these are people I want to keep interacting with. That may sound silly, but I've had to make these hard choices with the number of moves we've made. It's nice to find a group you feel apart of. Not to say I haven't found that here in Boston, there have been a few choice individuals who've been essential to our survival and have been some of the most understanding and charitable people I know. But there is something about finding peers who are in the same position of uncertainty that feels close to home for this young mind. It feels like a warm bath I've been missing out on for a long time. Again, pretty sure this is the booze talking.

Haiku of the Day:

Inertial forces

make a spilled cup of coffee

ebb the C Line floor.

Today's Drawing (inspired by the word "Gotterdammerung" from MW's word of the day. It means a collapse marked by catastrophic violence. Translates to "twilight of the gods."

Today's "365" Project (Ask a stranger for an idea for the project today. I asked one of the security guards from my building. His name is Rolf and with the help of my adventurous co-worker Erin, managed to get the prompt of "work-out creatively." Let's see what I can make of that!)
"Weird Push-ups"

Orange Screamers

Tell-All Thurs....oh why bother.

These prompts are falling apart due to the show and that they weren't super great to start. I'm going to keep the Watch Wednesday, Someone Saturday and Sonnet Sunday because those are continually either fun or useful. So now it's about finding some good prompts to match with the remaining days of the week. Some ideas:

Monster - Create a monster. Describe what it does. I did this yesterday (sorta) and I liked it.
Poetry - Doing a variety where I'm playing with a certain voice or style.
Dialogue - Just like it sounds. Make up a conversation between two fictional/real/horrible/blue people.

I've run out of things because my brain is beyond fried from rehearsal.

Haiku of the Day:

Stomach and body
pulse the pain of exhaustion
There's light at the end.

Today's Drawing (Inspired by the word "Palaver" from MW's word of the day. It means to talk excessively at length.)

Today's "365" Project (Do something with just the color orange. Yeah I just made a pile of orange things and tried to make a shape out of it...I'm tired. Sue me.)
"The Sunset Man"

Handyman

Stats:
Running Mileage: 211.35/1,000
Push-ups: 1,740/10,000
Sit-ups: 1,630/10,000
Pages Read: 2,833/10,000
Books Completed: 8/25
Words Written: 22,700/100,000

Fasts (Days without)
Internet: 23/100
TV: 35/100
Gaming: 86/100
Meat: 31/100
Junk: 20/100
Booze: 15/100

This is where I'm at, rounding quickly out of my first quarter of the year, (week 13 for all you kids counting at home.) Took a day off today to get my ducks in a row and get some rest. Show opens in two days so I've got some noticeable jitters, but I'm excited overall. The tough thing is going to be next week when we start folding in the children's show to the mix. And then it's only three more weekends of madness and I'll be able to breathe a bit.

I'm reaching that span of adulthood where I can't indulge like I used to (booze, sugar, fatty foods) without having to take time to recuperate...to the point where it's just not worth it to have the third drink, or second piece of cake, or, off the top of my head, a whole tray of biscuits. Much better to abstain and be healthy and cognizant. This is not a new revelation for anyone, as people have been aging since forever, but I have to keep reminding the lizard brain it no longer has a place at my table.

To sum up: I'm an addict with an appetite for garbage food and I have to alter that mindset ASAP if I want to continue excelling.

Haiku of the Day:

Replaced sink strainer

and reconstructed bed frame.

Father would be proud.

Today's Drawing (inspired by the word "Chansanette" from Dictionary.com's word of the day. It means a little song and it's obviously French.)

Today's "365" Project (Do something with nails and or screws)
"Fastener Forest"

Womber

Top Ten Tuesday!....Eh?....Eh?...No...Not today...too much things and stuff.

I wanted to write about the singularity because I thought it would be fun and I'd have some things to say about it, but I got all stressed and hurty and decided to cool it a bit, like an overheating computer. So many emotion in one day and it's not even five yet. Tuesdays can be hell because it's the day of deadlines for most of my projects at work.

Time to exorcise them devils out!

The fetid monsters creep out and crush the mangy fronds of green underfoot. They drool in goopy strings, a deluge of honeyed froth curls down lips and teeth. The snarls and gargles spew an ancient bray through the wood, as the insects murmur and bristle space to living air. In a raucous screeching The Muscle storms the trees, plucking trunks like the errant hairs of middle age. She devours the puny monsters with a wild, limby swoop and gulp.

Haiku of the Day:

Reading that stress kills

stresses me out a whole bunch.

I'm going to die.

Today's Drawing (inspired by the word "Nidificate" from Dictionary.com's word of the day. It means to build a nest!)

Today's "365" Project (Do something with coffee)
"Cafe Azteca"

White, Educated, Industrial, Rich, Democratic

Going to differ the writing section to the "365" Project because I can, it's my blog, and there's nothing you can do about it.

Haiku of the Day:

Throat chords scratch open
Revealing black notes with tails
Pouring song creatures

Today's Drawing (inspired by the word "Esurient" from MW word of the day. It means hungry or greedy. This one got away from me a bit...so I introduced a stickman as the falling voice of reasonable dissent.)

Today's "365" Project (Write a letter to your future self...and since time is linear [as far as we know] all of the selves I could be writing to are in no other time but the future, so I'm not going to set a specific age on it.)

Dear Michael and all the Michael's after you,

I'm writing to you, as you may well know, from the ripened and tumultuous age of 27 in September of 2014. Here's to hoping I'm less wordy now. If your memory is crappy, which it very well may be, here's where I'm at:

Emily and I are three weeks into living above the Jewish Community Center. Our bed is still on the floor and the bed-spring is still in pieces. Lord only knows when that will be resolved...or wait, you know. You know how most of my current issues get resolved. That's irksome for me and probably hilarious for you.

Anyways, I still work at the Lyons Group, but hope to leave soon, (fingers crossed,) and I'm entering tech week for that devised work piece for the imaginary beasts theater company. Remember how crazy that was? Doing both the main stage and the children's show? That sled you pushed around the whole time? And how hot that coat was?! Good times.

I would ask you questions, but this is a one-way sort of thing, so I'll omit the obligatory "Did I ever?s" and cut to what I think this letter can do best, which is remind myself of who I was (am for current me) so you can reflect on what an important time this is and how that kicks back on all the other times of your life. 

Take a moment to pause and look outward to some faraway place and smile fondly. 

Are you doing that? Or are you rolling your eyes at me? I don't know if the future me would find this tiresome or endearing...we'll go with endearing. I'm pretty clever aren't I, future Michael? At this point I imagine you saying "Get over yourself." and sighing deeply.

We're at an impasse, mister future me. A strange showdown that happens in those silent moments when there's no one else around. We stare out and suddenly there we are, in an infinity of instances, looking each other in the eye and saying:

"Now what?"

That's all I've got right now. They'll be more tomorrow. You know it better than me.

With all the love you can't afford to give presently,

Michael

Tech, Fish and Turtles!

Sunday Sonnet

One day a saw a turtle in the road
Neck stretched, she seeked the pavement's dusty edge,
Her scaly legs strained forward from the load,
Her shell, her home, her life-long hardened pledge.
I came to stop a few feet from her path,
And exit out my green Ford Bonneville,
Sparing the crosser from my car's harsh wrath,
As just another smear of fresh road kill.
With careful hands I grabbed her by the shell,
And walked her over to the other side
Content, she scuttled off, and I could tell
I'd done my part to save the creature's hide.
But back en route I saw, to my dismay
the turtle crossing back the other way.

Haiku of the Day:

Painting and posters
Ladders up to the rigging
First day of tech week.

Today's Drawing (inspired by the word "Aphelion" meaning the point a celestial body is farthest away from the sun.)

Today's "365" Project (Do something with packing materials. I chose the packing paper we've used for the past two moves. I also used it for the paper mache heart a while back. Certainly on some underwater kick the past few days.)

"The 32nd Annual Paper Fish Conference"

Cake and Warrior Selves

Someone Saturday

Gilroy always knew there was a warrior buried deep within his person, writhing to be free of the soft, pocked body that imprisoned it. He would have these glorious dreams of riding into open fields, naked but for a loincloth and wielding a mighty scimitar. In the dreams he know not the fear of his daily life, and had the singular purpose of mowing down as many visogoths as possible before night fell. He never flinched or cowered at the sight of the raving men, whose eyes bugged with murderous conviction and frothed with zeal.  There was something so true about the man on that battlefield, his beard flecked with meat, dirt and blood, that Gilroy felt it matched the same passion and certainty a transgender person feels about their true nature. If only Gilroy could go under the knife the augment the weedy, terrible man he saw in the mirror into the fierce warrior he knew himself to be. This desire, this need, haunted Gilroy in every human interaction, in each mistake.  It grew especially strong when he would find himself walking into rooms not knowing why he came in them.

"Torvic would know why he came in the room." He would tell himself, fumbling his assuredly empty pockets for the sixth time, (Torvic was the name he gave the warrior side.) Torvic would have the clarity of thought, the efficiency and poise of a jungle cat. He would never misplace his jogging sneakers or his can-opener.

Gilroy worked as a sub-auditor in a meager state-run firm. His days consisted of surfing and editing his historical fiction wikis, eating crackers and tuna fish, doing the occasional piece of auditing and daydreaming of his life as Torvic. He could never keep his eyes fully open, and his crotch always seemed abnormally hot and itchy, (in so much that he was forced to try all sort of veiled methods to relieve it: slight seat adjustments, alternative underwear options and strategic manual "airings" with a free hand. Some days would get so bad he would excuse himself to the restroom, where he would strip down in a stall, take off the damp undergarment and stuff it down a pant leg, spending the rest of the day in a freeing commando state, sans the sad smelly bundle hugging his left shin.)

Gilroy's crotch and warrior daydreams aside, he lead a relatively happy life, never doing much that required a struggle. He tried pottery for a time but found the feel of the clay on his hands unnerving, and his instructor had a nasty habit of nodding knowingly was she saw something she liked.

What's with that? he would think to himself as she made it round the room, pausing only to look and do the stupid nodding.

Often he had unwholesome dreams about the instructor. He would of course be enveloped in the simple mind of Torvic in the dreams, but it left him feeling queazy and unsettled upon waking.

Haiku of the Day:

Clear air over mind

smooth to the pulmonary

tickles the gullet

Today's Drawing (inspired by the word "Carouse" from MW's word of the day. It means to drink heavily or participate in drunken revelry.)

Today's "365" Project (Decorate a cookie or a cake)
"Home Cake"

Sad But Good

Friendly? Friday

This internal dialogue came out of a reverberating toxic cube space and should have stayed there. But the window for my blog was open while it was fermenting. Rather then let it go, I'm putting it here because there was a feeling of solid truth that eked from it.

...I get this feeling at all times that someone, somewhere, is berating or making fun of me. It's a stupid selfish sort of feeling that I hate having and hate admitting I have. I see it behind the eyes, though some are more obvious about it than others. I hear it in voices. It's all I look for and all I can concentrate on when I'm speaking to anyone...
...I prefer to be alone. Not in the traditional sense, but in the sense of being the last person for thousands of miles and years throughout history...
... I wish I was more poignant. I wish I sounded wiser and succinct and had direction. I wish it didn't always come to this point, this place of reconciliation, and feeling swindled by time and my own misguided purposes. I have such aversion to...

Good God September is the worst sometimes.

Haiku of the Day:

Cold deep in the bones

Fever shivers without heat

I feel like a ghost

Today's Drawing (inspired by the word "Velar" from MW word of the day. )

Today's "365" Project (Do something with office supplies. Again I went with what I know!)
"Perry the Pen Cup Clown"

Watching

Tell-all Thursday

Flashes of the day:

-Rose late and scrambled for work, veggie burrito and ear-buds despairingly left behind.

-Crowded by a pair of French tourists on the T. They spoke furiously-quick French the whole trip. When I went to leave at my stop I said "Pardon, s'il vous plait. Merci." and left. I really hope they think I could understand them the whole time.

-Ran the Charles River during my lunch break and watched the late summer tanners fry. Avoided goose crap during push-up/sit-up intervals.

-Thought Panda Express would be a decent replacement for forgotten veggie burrito. Horribly disappointed.

-Started Hitchhiker's Guide to the galaxy and realized the book in the story of the same name is basically a smart phone with access to Wikipedia.

-Pushed my sled for the first time! (Reference to my show. SPOILER: I will be pushing a sled.)

-Ate some noodles and drank some tea after 11.

Haiku of the Day:

Strip down in bathroom

Dabbing body with TP

My post-run "shower"

Today's Drawing (inspired by the word "Hegemony" from MW word of the day.)

Today's "365" Project (Do something with candles/wax. I dripped wax eyes into an older project!)
"Siskin's Eyes"

Honing Flux

Watch Wednesday

Easing into writing has gotten cleaner, but I'm feeling a plateau coming on. Like the habit is forming fine enough, but the writing lacks the punch I usually experience.  I'm a colloquial writer, always have been, and sometimes that natural voice looks wonky and forced once I vomit it on page. I've been outside of doing regular writing for a long time. You could argue I never really did it regularly, even when in classes. It was a lightning-striking sort of situation, and I let that carry my through high school and college. Often it would be my innovations that would earn me the grade, and never my acumen for spelling, structure and/or grammar. My discipline was and is highly lacking and writing has been no exception.

A big part of the project is to find some way to hone that ax, build some habits and willpower that I never had to build before. As of now, 85 days in, I'm still unsure of how effective it is. I have completely cut out video games from my lifestyle, which is for the better, but I also find myself moodier and more stressed than before, (though that's understandable considering the demands I've put forward.) There was a transition sometime in the first month though, where the project became less of a hassle and more of something I look forward to everyday. So I guess what I can take from this is:

You're too close to it to come to any conclusions. Push forward and stay vigilant.

Week 12!

Stats:
Running Mileage: 195.26/1,000
Push-ups: 1,490/10,000
Sit-ups: 1,380/10,000
Pages Read: 2,656/10,000
Books Completed: 7/25
Words Written: 20,343/100,000

Fasts (Days without)
Internet: 22/100
TV: 35/100
Gaming: 79/100
Meat: 26/100
Junk: 19/100
Booze: 14/100

Big Leaps in PU and SU. Running still strong, though continually 30 + miles behind where I need to be. Booze is now trouble, though I'm not drinking a lot, it still kills the numbers to drink a beer a day. Writing is catching up fast...I feel like the goals are still in reach. Again this may change over the weekend when I have no time to do much of anything but theater, but I'm optimistic.

Haiku of the Day:

I slept on the couch 

after a junk food binging.

Partner-less I flail.

Today's Drawing (inspired by the word "Lantern" from a random word generator.)

Today's "365" Project (Do something with words. Yes this is my prompt today. I could totally cop out and just point to everything above this but I won't do that. I'll just re-purpose an old project!)
"Self-Centered Philosophy"

Indulgences

Top Ten Tuesday

*Starting to get into the tough times for rehearsal, so the next few weeks may have a meagerness to them.*

Top Ten Reasons Fall is Awesome

1. Summer is over Most folks see this as a major bummer, but I'm here to convince you otherwise. Summer is overrated. It's hot and sticky and the sun is out all the time. Beaches are gross and full of sand, (God's own inescapable glitter.) People love showing skin where they have no place showing it,  summer beers are refreshing, but rarely good, and there's nothing good on TV. Not to mention all the pressure to vacation and be outside and do stuff...what a terrible hassle.
2. The days get shorter I like seasons that aren't in that parabola stage of day length, that have equinoxes and the like. And I like the dark better. I mean, don't get me wrong, I hate the crap out of winter, especially in the Boston time zone which gets dark at 4. But there's something neat about having the night slowly creep up on you.
3. Beer is good - even in the pumpkin hype The general consensus I get is that people are sick of pumpkin beer. In the past five years the pumpkin craze has taken over everything and I understand it getting out of hand. But Oktoberfest style!! And pumpkin stouts and hardy red ales and ciders and APPLE FRIGGIN' CIDER! 
4. The air is perfect The crisp bite. The smell of burning wood and dead leaves. The crackling thinness. Breathe it in deep. 
5. Sweaters and scarves Is there nothing cozier? That's all I got really. EXCEPT when you do a campfire late at night an that stud smells like that for days. Mmmmmm.
6. Halloween I'm a Theater major with a sweet tooth and a penchant for morbidity. Halloween is my JAM! I also love the tradition of pumpkin carving, (especially if you can re-purpose the seeds and husk...otherwise it's a gross misuse of perfectly good food.)  speaking of gross misuse of food...
7. Thanksgiving Food and family. I would say football, but it's not that big a deal to me. But gorging yourself with people you love is pretty high on my list of favorites. Also it's always close to Emily's birthday and that's pretty great.
8. You get all the weather From those surprising September heat waves to freak November blizzards you see the full spectrum.
9. School starts I always liked school. It meant structure and wonder and friends. And it also meant new beginnings more than New Years every managed to produce.
10. The reminders of the imminent nature of death are everywhere! The leaves turning and falling. The darkness and cold creeping in. You turn into a Stark. Winter is coming.

Haiku of the Day:

Inhaled a whole tray
of biscuits last night in haste.
Stomach not happy.

Today's Drawing (inspired by the word "Pell-mell" from MW's word of the day.

Today's "365" Project (Do something with soap!)
"FISHY!"

(Water Pun Here)

Memory Monday

I had a wonderful morning. Got in a run in the crisp autumn air, breaking in my running sweatshirt with the skeleton on it. Got a couple pumpkin beers waiting for me tonight. It felt good. Looking forward to the week.

"River"

I went canoeing/fly fishing with my father once when I was younger. And there were a few choice moments that are prominent:

-I remember mis-steping on some rocks and falling in my waders. This was terrifying because I was told I would be swept under and drown if I wasn't sure to point my feet downstream, catch the nearest bit of rock and swing upright. This seemed simple enough, but the waders work like two underwater parachutes when they fill up, and I became aware of the sheer power of the current for the first time. I managed upright rather quickly, but not without being soaked to the bone.

-I ate cap'n crunch on the trip for breakfast one day and there was some promotion in the box with a powder that made the milk green. I didn't follow the directions and poured the whole packet in and had a very green mouth for the rest of the day. I also had coffee for the first time, but I remember pretending that I had it before, said I took it black, and proceeded to gulp down the horrible hot dirt water I was given. Took me until 24 to really give it a chance again. And I was a barista for four years.

-my dad and I nearly tipped our canoe in a frantic nearly slow motion trajectory toward a jutting log. Lots of "no Michael not that way!" and "No turn TURN!"  When we hit it, there was a bunch of balance dancing and cursing. But we didn't fall in. Our friends were behind us laughing their asses off the whole time. They were able to get up next to the log and exclaimed "you left quite a shiner on that sucker!" My father and I were not amused.

Haiku of the Day:

The Skeleton Man

returns in time for fall chill

and runs unabashed.

Today's Drawing (inspired by the word "divarication" from MW's word of the day. It means the action, process or fact of spreading apart. Could not have had a better word for today.)

Today's "365" Project (Make a visual pun. I made FIVE!)

"Grayscale"

"Beady Eyed"

"Mugshot"

"Face-plant"

"Rock n' Roll"

Why do my characters keep dying?

Sonnet Sunday

Pale goosebumps sprout on fields of hackled skin,
as tremors run beneath the muscled flesh,
A snapping surge tips up a jutting chin,
Wide eyes of craving beg an infant's creche.
While panic blossoms on the rugged ground,
The hiker's gasp is swallowed by the leaves,
They rustle sweet, indifferent to the sound,
bent by a squirrel who leaps the forest's eaves.
Her final moments, before she's deftly claimed,
drip heavy with a sodden mat of loss,
of vows unspoken, ill spats and friendships maimed:
They join her tears in watering the moss.
Her end, as Hobbes observed, brutish and fast,
For her, for all, life bows to peace at last.

Haiku of the Day:

I'm meditating
While children scream below me
This Sunday is strange

Today's Drawing (inspired by the word "Samovar" from Dictionary.com's word of the day)

Today"s "365" Project (Make a utensil)
"Dusting Baton"

Eraser Grub

Someone Saturday (Limerick Edition)

There once was a diver named Morrie
who swam in an old flooded quarry.
He dove too far down,
and of course, he did drown -
What a woefully dull allegory.

Haiku of the Day:

Mouse in the cupboard

Leaping out from the rice shelf

Terror of the house

Today's Drawing (inspired by the word "grubstake" for MW word of the day)

Today's "365" Project (Do something with erasers)
"Jeff the Eraser Farmer"

Dyes and Scribbles

Friendly Friday

Went through and made a whole gallery of the drawings. I don't know what's more intimidating, the current stack of content or the fact that at the end of this project the stack will be four times as big. And we got internet today! As refreshing as it was the be without it, I'm glad it's back, mostly for the purposes of this project. I can scan and upload my pictures again!

And now it's time for Friendly Friday, where I talk about people I'm grateful for. And today's person is...well...oh dear god this is a hard prompt. I want to do justice to a description but I've only got a day in which to do it. To get to the meat of things, I'd have to do it in parts...or maybe vignettes?

I had a wonderful conversation with my old friend Tym from Baltimore. He was crucial in my proposal, not only in being supportive of my springing on our couples' weekend, but also getting champagne and coming up with the code word for him and his girlfriend Ellen to leave on. I hope he's alright with me telling this, but when I had to say goodbye, he wanted to take me to the roof of his building, but it was uncharacteristically locked. It was in the stairwell he told me of his plans for us, for Emily and Ellen. How we were supposed to grow into adults together and how we would be a part of each other’s weddings and raise children. I would have cried then, if a friend had not come up from the stairwell to join us. On our last day in the city we sat and smoked and watched This American Life, bathing in each other’s company, free of activity but present, hoping to preserve it somehow. That was a hard goodbye. But on the brighter side, one or both of them may officiate our wedding!

Haiku of the Day:

Electric tingle

pulsing the human chemtrail

on the skin's surface

Today's Drawing (inspired by the word "Between" from page 297 from Bill Bryson's compiled essays on science and the Royal Society called Seeing Further.  Kinda O'Keffed this one. That's what I get for furiously scribbling the whole time with my nose two inches from the paper.)

Today's "365" Project (Do something with dye. I repurposed the quilling mini-project and dabbed some food-coloring in it.)

"Splashy Summer Spirals"

Good Day Despite

Tell-all Thursday

It's hard to look at the date on this one and not think of the defining tragedy of the beginning of the century. I could devote a whole bit to where I was and how I think it has defined my identity and the identities of all Americans. But turns out, I don't have much to say on it:

- I was in algebra class when I heard and saw the second plane hit on TV.
- I had a close friend who always referred to her birthday as "August 42nd" in lieu of it all.
- I read Jonathan Safran Foer's Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close during my first ever trip to New York and that defined the whole experience for me. I recommend checking it out.

In less somber news, I'm planning on revamping the blog a bit by providing sections that have the drawings, projects and haikus each in their own galleries, so there's a more comprehensive way to browse through. I've been realizing this has been needing this for a while, but with all the new writing prompt stuff the post are getting bigger, and that makes it harder to get to the stuff you want to see. Emily's going to be out of town all next week so it'll be nice to work on it as a distraction.

Today's a relatively calm one. Seems like I haven't had nearly enough of them so I welcome this one like a old friend. Take the time to breathe it in and keep that keel even.

Traffic out the window like ocean waves.

Haiku of the Day:

Donuts in break room.
Had to be the day I choose
to not eat junk food.

Today's Drawing (inspired by the word "exacerbate" from MW's word of the day.)

Today's "365" Project (Walk down an alley and do something with what you find there...though be careful not to cut yourself! I went the extra mile and did my project in the alley by a bowling alley. ALLEY INCEPTION!)
"Broken Plate Man"

Plodding On

Wacky Wednesday....that I am now calling Watch Wednesday because most all I do on these days is check in.

Week 11!

Stats:
Running Mileage: 176.46/1,000
Push-ups: 1,085/10,000
Sit-ups: 950/10,000
Pages Read: 2,596/10,000
Books Completed: 7/25
Words Written: 17,956/100,000

Fasts (Days without)
Internet: 19/100
TV: 34/100
Gaming: 72/100
Meat: 22/100
Junk: 15/100
Booze: 14/100

Finally hit my benchmark for where I should be for Meat. Still holding strong for TV, Gaming and Pages Read. Words Written got a boost with the new format and I expect to hit my average goal by the 3 month mark. Running is gaining slowly, which is expected and thankfully healthy. Not sweating the push-ups and sit-ups because I've been adding them into my work-outs in big chunks. Booze is now trailing due to the move and all the lovely stress that needed relieving from it. Overall still happy, though could be a wake-up call once 3 months rolls over.

Haiku of the Day:

The juices flowing
to the brainpan surge light green
Radioactive

Today's Drawing (inspired by the word "rathskeller" from MW word of the day. It's a basement tavern or restaurant.)

Today's "365" Project (Write about someone you see today: Make up a fake name and a story. It's basically my Someone Sunday but I'm not complaining!)

Lionel Quincy had only been back in America six hours and already he could feel the hunger creeping in. Get it together man, he thought to himself fervently while shifting his hand on the train handrail. The city didn't seem too much different as when he left it last winter and the familiarity had him on edge. Why couldn't he get it out of his head?
"Come on!" He hollered aloud in the crowed car. A few more people huddled away from him like penguins protecting their eggs from the cold. Damnit Lionel, don't let it get to you. He tried to refocus  himself by rubbing his thumb in the crook of his forefinger, but it only proved a reminder of what he had to face.
"Baker's Crossing" came the voice on the train intercom.
Oh God only one more stop. Lionel took a few deep breaths that turned into shallow pants. He tried holding his breath, but it made him lightheaded.
And then he saw it through the grimy subway window. The pink and orange lettering. The line out the door. The heavy smell of coffee and bake goods.
Lionel broke into a cold sweat as the automated announcer spoke, "Cedar Road."
He never stood a chance. No amount of high class international rehab could quell Lionel's hard wired New England cravings. Before the doors even opened he knew that in under seven minutes he would have a sixty four ounce iced mocha with a dozen donut holes. Because America Runs baby. And there ain't nothing you can do about it.

Quilling Hardcore

Top Ten Tues!

Top Ten Things about Living with Bipolar Disorder!

1. Medications are hard For anyone who's seen or knows someone who's seen a psychiatrist, this is kind of a no-brainer. But for those who haven't, understand that there's never going to be a pill that just fixes this stuff. It involves months of tinkering with an already messed up system, and then using that same system to gauge it's progress. The question: "Does this feel good or normal?" makes absolutely no sense to someone that has really no idea what that would be like. More often than not, you find yourself in a whole new realm of crazy, where nothing is where you're used to it being, and you end up wishing for your old crappy bat-house back. And don't even get me started on the side effects on top of it.

2. Discrimination is crafty and very real I was blessed with some pretty understanding people growing up, but when I moved to Montana things were a bit different. One time, I was giving plasma (like you do) and the nurse asked me if I had been hospitalized lately. I had within the past two years of being asked, so I told her that I was hospitalized for bipolar disorder. There was a palpable silence in the room as the woman thought it over, and then here eyes got really wide and she started talking to me very calmly, like I was a bear or a bomb. She did her best to talk me out of donating and tested me for all kinds of drugs. This happens with a bunch with people outside the medical field too, but her response was the most jarring.

3. You feeling testy when people talk about controlling your feelings I'm a relatively calm guy. I tend to implode rather than explode, but if you tell me to calm down or "stop being a spaz," I'll be propelled into a murderous frenzy. Most people just don't know better, and I get that, but as someone who spends a great deal of psychic energy keeping my emotions in check, I find it patronizing. My feelings are mine to express, and unless they're hurting you in someway, please don't tell me to control them. Cause sometimes I really can't.

4. Therapy makes you hyper-reflective to the point of paranoia This one might just be me personally, but I have to try hard to turn off the self-evaluation. It's ingrained in my system to think about why I'm feeling every single thing that I am, and what it's reacting to, and how it is being perceived by others. It's that last one that gets me, the feel of a shrink's placating steely gaze patiently anticipating my next move, only to have them ask me why I said it or where it came from. It's like having a toddler in your brain that's only interested in you. It messed me up for quite a while, those cyclical mirrors upon mirrors.

5. You lose your sense of self When I was first diagnosed, I had a severe identity crisis. Like most mental illnesses it becomes difficult to reconcile and differentiate yourself from the symptoms of the disorder. This is especially hard on friends and family, who bear the brunt of the swings. This muddling of identity leads into next point...

6. You trust nothing you feel I'm still feeling the effects of this one, squashing and shaping all emotions, real or impostor. It becomes a natural response and so there's constant doubt about whether the feeling is "appropriate" or "justified." This leads to a great deal of general doubt, and one of the causes of my deep-seeded indifference.

7. You think about procreating in a weird way I'm getting married in the spring, and I'm still on the fence about children. Don't worry, Emily has similar concerns. One of the big ones for me is passing this horrible monster on to a child. I had a pretty hard time and had a lot of help and luck that got me through it. I see what could have gone wrong, and I think about that for my potential children. But then again, who better than me to guide them through it?

8. High threshold for emotional pain I can say about every three months or so I go through a sort of hell gauntlet where everything bubbles up and overflows and I feel like my whole brain is on fire. Gets you a pretty thick skin for a lot of things. Also breaks you down a bit too, so sometimes the littlest dumb thing will set off a spiral. Regardless, my threshold is very different from most, and that's a constant strain when folks just don't get it.

9. No sleep schedule If you don't exercise or medicate with either booze or drugs, sleep is tough. I often only need 5-6 hours at most. I also have the uncanny ability to wake up minutes before my alarm. Just saying.

10. God-Hand/Electric Moments A few words on mania: It feels amazing. Brings me to tears. But it carries a lot of danger too. I often undereat and frequently hurt myself unnecessarily while overexerting my body and my schedule. But man those god-touching moments are miraculous.

Haiku of the Day:

Fire ants crawling up

limbs as he takes one big step

off the desert cliff

Today's Drawing (inspired by the word "pratfall" from Dictionary.com's word of the day.)

Today's "365" (Do something with quilling)

"Summer Spirals"

Rain Caper

Memory Monday

Sat out the the park today and watched the clouds go by. I thought of cloud watching with my dad. I feel like it was something we did a lot, sitting outside and watching storm clouds on fold-out camp chairs, but I'm not sure if it happened more than once. But my father does love weather and there always was a sense of awe and reverence when the pouring rains would come. I derive great comfort from rain: the sound, the feel of the air, the static motion it paints on the scenery. It's the excitement of energy everywhere, the outside finally matching the humming electricity underneath.

Haiku of the Day:

Sunset on city
A calm sets among the crowd
Could get used to this

Today's Drawing (inspired by the word "Culprit" for MW word of the day.)

Today's "365" Project (Do something in or around an ear)

"Scraping the Bottom of the Barrel"

Those are coasters on my ears.