Monster Monday (Maybe?)
Pink-Bellied Cruffel
The Pink-Bellied Cruffel is an amphibious rodent, the size and shape of a pear with four legs. It has a slick fur coat that is lined with a parasitic yellow moss known as Fretch's Fuzz, that feasts off the creature's notoriously deplorable dandruff. It travels in packs of 8 to 10 known as "squalbs." The beast was native to Papua New Guinea until droves of American tourists in the late 1970's came and carted the wretched creatures to the States, thinking they would be adorable pets. Unfortunately, the Cruffel turned out to be far more cantankerous than most Americans could handle, so they were hastily discarded out car windows and flushed down toilets. Fortunately for the Cruffels, they thrived in the fetid conditions of sewege traps and highway shoulders.
Despite their penchant for pack travel, one rarely sees a Pink-Bellied Cruffel in nature. They're nocturnal creatures and sleep nearly 21 hours in the day. They only become active during the hours of 2-5 am and it's then they consume their two favorite staples: human garbage and acorns. The most telling evidence of the presence of a squalb of Cruffels is their tell-tale droppings, scattered across city sidewalks in black smears, often assumed by the laymen as the remnants of discarded gum.
It's a common misconception that Pink-Bellied Cruffels actually have pink bellies. This is due to the saliva it secretes, mixed with a blood based expectorate, that lubricates it's lower stomach to allow quicker travel on land and to and from water. This creates a semi-permanent staining to both the scalp and fur.
When mating, which occurs once a year in late spring, the male Cruffels will borrow into the base of a tree (or in some cases lamppost) and there it will wait for rain. When the rains come, the male Cruffel will then swallow as much water as possible until it has expanded to four times it's normal size. Then it will begin to thrum a small flap at the back of its throat that sends thousands of tiny micro vibrations underground. These vibrations alert any nearby females and, as a side effect, force any earthworms nearby to come to the surface. Once a female finds the male in his enlarged state, she'll crawl into his waterlogged mouth and deposit her eggs (typically 15 to 20.) She then proceeds to bite off a chuck of the males brain stem from inside, releasing his genetic payload and killing him in the process. She then exits the male through the mouth and goes on her merry way, often to deposit eggs in at least half of the males of her squalb.
The now fertilized eggs then gestate for a few months, then on a hot summer's night they emerge blind and already carrying the Fetch's Fuzz passed down from the father. It should be noted that most of the babies will be male, with one or sometimes two dominant females leading each young squalb. About three months later, in the fall, the squalb will then split off, the female(s) leaving to pursue other males squalbs and the males to find new, genetically diverse female leaders.
This is all there is known right now of these horrible and wondrous creatures. One can only imagine what other beasts roam the earth...
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Pink-Bellied Cruffel
The Pink-Bellied Cruffel is an amphibious rodent, the size and shape of a pear with four legs. It has a slick fur coat that is lined with a parasitic yellow moss known as Fretch's Fuzz, that feasts off the creature's notoriously deplorable dandruff. It travels in packs of 8 to 10 known as "squalbs." The beast was native to Papua New Guinea until droves of American tourists in the late 1970's came and carted the wretched creatures to the States, thinking they would be adorable pets. Unfortunately, the Cruffel turned out to be far more cantankerous than most Americans could handle, so they were hastily discarded out car windows and flushed down toilets. Fortunately for the Cruffels, they thrived in the fetid conditions of sewege traps and highway shoulders.
Despite their penchant for pack travel, one rarely sees a Pink-Bellied Cruffel in nature. They're nocturnal creatures and sleep nearly 21 hours in the day. They only become active during the hours of 2-5 am and it's then they consume their two favorite staples: human garbage and acorns. The most telling evidence of the presence of a squalb of Cruffels is their tell-tale droppings, scattered across city sidewalks in black smears, often assumed by the laymen as the remnants of discarded gum.
It's a common misconception that Pink-Bellied Cruffels actually have pink bellies. This is due to the saliva it secretes, mixed with a blood based expectorate, that lubricates it's lower stomach to allow quicker travel on land and to and from water. This creates a semi-permanent staining to both the scalp and fur.
When mating, which occurs once a year in late spring, the male Cruffels will borrow into the base of a tree (or in some cases lamppost) and there it will wait for rain. When the rains come, the male Cruffel will then swallow as much water as possible until it has expanded to four times it's normal size. Then it will begin to thrum a small flap at the back of its throat that sends thousands of tiny micro vibrations underground. These vibrations alert any nearby females and, as a side effect, force any earthworms nearby to come to the surface. Once a female finds the male in his enlarged state, she'll crawl into his waterlogged mouth and deposit her eggs (typically 15 to 20.) She then proceeds to bite off a chuck of the males brain stem from inside, releasing his genetic payload and killing him in the process. She then exits the male through the mouth and goes on her merry way, often to deposit eggs in at least half of the males of her squalb.
The now fertilized eggs then gestate for a few months, then on a hot summer's night they emerge blind and already carrying the Fetch's Fuzz passed down from the father. It should be noted that most of the babies will be male, with one or sometimes two dominant females leading each young squalb. About three months later, in the fall, the squalb will then split off, the female(s) leaving to pursue other males squalbs and the males to find new, genetically diverse female leaders.
This is all there is known right now of these horrible and wondrous creatures. One can only imagine what other beasts roam the earth...
Haiku of the Day:
I stand, plumb and glazed,
at the foot of a great dock
at the foot of a great dock
and gasp the lake mist.
Today's Drawing (inspired by the word "Rapier" from MW's word of the day. It's a straight narrow sword, but also can mean extremely smart or keen.)
Today's "365" Project (Do something inspired by the word insect. Did some old school stress clip bending.)
"Mayfly"
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